The Adviser’s Dilemma

A monthly column where Emma unpacks real-life situations from across the profession and shares a fresh perspective.
Each month you'll find the latest column published here and also featured in Money Marketing Magazine.
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Dear Emma,

I’m a relatively new financial adviser and I’ve recently inherited a book of clients. One client in particular is proving tricky for me: they were last reviewed in 2023 and have made it very clear that they don’t want a follow‑up meeting. I’ve reached out twice by email (having been unsuccessful over the phone) to introduce myself and offer a review, but both times they’ve politely declined and said they will contact me if they need anything.

Within my firm, there’s a strong culture of disengaging clients in situations like this, especially when they are paying ongoing fees but not receiving ongoing reviews. While I understand the commercial and compliance logic, I feel uncomfortable simply stepping back without at least establishing a relationship. Ideally, I’d like them to know who I am so they feel confident approaching me when they eventually do want advice.

How should I balance respecting their wishes with my responsibility to maintain proper ongoing service and meet internal expectations? And is there a best‑practice way to keep the door open without being pushy?

Yours,

Feeling Ghosted.

Dear Feeling Ghosted,

The first thing that strikes me in your letter is how many themes this one tricky client situation touches - responsibility, worth, a new career, firm culture, transferred trust and underneath all of it, an implicit question about what a good professional relationship is even supposed to look like. That’s a lot.

The second thing I noticed was how much we simply don't know.

We have no idea what came before your invitations. One possibility is that this client adored their previous adviser - maybe because they were brilliant, or maybe because they shared a long and significant history. If so, this client isn't really declining a review meeting. They're grieving a relationship, and you happen to be standing in the space where someone irreplaceable used to be.

Another possibility is quite the opposite: that they've sat through years of meetings that felt like being talked at - performance charts, compliance checklists, no real human contact - and have quietly concluded that meeting their adviser is a tedious obligation they'd rather skip. In that case, their low expectations of you aren't personal. They just can't imagine you'd be any different.

Regardless, we can assume this client doesn't currently see a relationship with you as part of what they're - quite happily, it seems - paying for. They're separating the product from the person. And if that's the problem, the solution becomes clearer: stop leading with the product, and start leading with the person.

Which means a third email isn't going to cut it. Instead, consider showing yourself more explicitly as the human being behind those messages. Right now, you haven't become real to them yet. A short video sent via email or WhatsApp - not polished, not scripted, just you, warmly and briefly - could shift that. A minute or two explaining what you're trying to do and why. Not ‘I'm reaching out as required by our ongoing service agreement’, but something closer to ‘I genuinely want to make sure your money is working for your life, and I can't do that without knowing something about you’. The medium itself carries a powerful message - that you're willing to go beyond the template. And it makes you that bit harder to separate out.

When thinking about what else to say, I’d encourage you to filter it through an honest recognition that no trust exists between you yet - and that building it is your job, not theirs.

Lead with benevolence: make it clear that your motivation is their outcomes, not your review targets. Bring integrity: if you're receiving a fee, you want to feel you're genuinely earning it, and you'd rather have an honest conversation about whether this is working than quietly carry on. And be transparent: not just about process, but about the situation itself. Naming the awkwardness of inherited relationships can be surprisingly disarming. Asking what they valued previously, and what they didn't, signals that you're not simply slotting them into your standard process.

Then the important thing is to let them co-create what a meeting might look like with you. They may not understand what’s so important about a review meeting so you can explain why you are persisting. But then be flexible about where, how long it runs, what gets discussed versus what gets sent in writing. No marathon sessions or gazillions of charts to politely endure. Just a conversation, on their terms.

If, having done all of that with genuine warmth and no attachment to the outcome, they still say no - the decision, whilst shaped by your firm's culture, ultimately becomes yours. Is this the kind of working relationship you want? What does it cost you to maintain it, and what does it cost you to walk away.

Warmly,

Emma

Feeling Ghosted By A Client

Late to the party and fearing the fallout